My oldest daughter is 40 years old, but I didn't get to share in the celebration of her birthday in October. She won't let me share anything about her life and I'm really confused about why she's shutting me out.
I remember staying out of touch with my own mother when I was younger. But, it was never for more than a a few weeks at a time. Back then, there was no internet and long-distance phone calls cost 10 cents a minute. For that reason, we wrote letters quite a bit.
I've sent my daughter e-mails that usually go unanswered. I don't have her phone number anymore. I'm not even sure she still lives at the same address. I sent a birthday gift to my 6-year-old granddaughter in August, and my daughter responded by e-mail that "it was perfect" and "you didn't have to." But, what does that mean? Exactly?
My daughter's oldest daughter, now 18, has been a part of my life for the better part of the past two years because my daughter's second husband was charged with a "lewd and lascivious act against a minor," (my granddaughter). She lived with her father for a brief period following this event, but he had a tough time dealing with her. So, she came to stay with me.
The legal case was resolved a long time ago. I thought, "Just let some time go by and we can find our way back to each other." But, that hasn't happened.
My daughter has two other children besides my 18-year-old granddaughter. The 6-year-old granddaughter I mentioned earlier, and my only grandson who is 8-years old. The photo, above, I lifted off of my daughter's facebook page (and we're NOT "friends"). The two children are visiting with their other grandmother in Nicaragua last July. I look at it often and yearn to hug them and find out what kind of wonderful people they are growing into. I know I'm missing a lot because I'm not a part of their lives. But, what can I do? Should I just show up at her house where she used to live hoping she still lives there? Or, should I mind my own business and be patient and wait for her to let me back into her life and the lives of her children?
I honestly don't know ...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
I made this back during the summer, then promptly forgot about it. I've been cleaning out my mailbox and stumbled on it again ... So, I'm posting it here so it won't be lost again!