Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Mothers and Daughters

My oldest daughter is 40 years old, but I didn't get to share in the celebration of her birthday in October. She won't let me share anything about her life and I'm really confused about why she's shutting me out.

I remember staying out of touch with my own mother when I was younger. But, it was never for more than a a few weeks at a time. Back then, there was no internet and long-distance phone calls cost 10 cents a minute. For that reason, we wrote letters quite a bit.

I've sent my daughter e-mails that usually go unanswered. I don't have her phone number anymore. I'm not even sure she still lives at the same address. I sent a birthday gift to my 6-year-old granddaughter in August, and my daughter responded by e-mail that "it was perfect" and "you didn't have to." But, what does that mean? Exactly?

My daughter's oldest daughter, now 18, has been a part of my life for the better part of the past two years because my daughter's second husband was charged with a "lewd and lascivious act against a minor," (my granddaughter).  She lived with her father for a brief period following this event, but he had a tough time dealing with her.  So, she came to stay with me.

The legal case was resolved a long time ago. I thought, "Just let some time go by and we can find our way back to each other." But, that hasn't happened.

My daughter has two other children besides my 18-year-old granddaughter. The 6-year-old granddaughter I mentioned earlier, and my only grandson who is 8-years old. The photo, above, I lifted off of my daughter's facebook page (and we're NOT "friends"). The two children are visiting with their other grandmother in Nicaragua last July.  I look at it often and yearn to hug them and find out what kind of wonderful people they are growing into. I know I'm missing a lot because I'm not a part of their lives. But, what can I do? Should I just show up at her house where she used to live hoping she still lives there? Or, should I  mind my own business and be patient and wait for her to let me back into her life and the lives of her children?

I honestly don't know ...

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