Thursday, June 19, 2014

My Parents Were Born on the Cusp ...

The Cusp for Gemini/Cancer is June 19 to June 23. My mother's birthday was June 19. My dad's was June 21. My dad was nine years older than my mother and he had been married once before. He was in the U.S. Army when they met at Fort Lee, Virginia when my mother was 23-years-old.
My mother on her wedding day.

My mother used to say she met my dad on the dance floor. My Aunt Evelyn had danced with him first, then he asked my mother for a dance. My Aunt Evelyn said he never danced with another woman again that she knew about.

Their marriage was full of passion. I'm sure about that. My brother and I often observed the knock-down-drag-out brawls from a distance and, somehow, we knew it wasn't about us. It was about them. My mother was a social butterfly if one ever existed, and very opinionated! My dad was introverted and thoughtful and very, very smart. That made for some great arguments about politics at the dinner table, too!

After their brawls, they would make up, and we didn't get to see that. They would tell us they were going to have a private conversation and they would go in their bedroom, close the door and turn on the radio. We usually took that for a sign to go outside and play. We didn't care what they were doing. We were kids. We were just glad they weren't fighting anymore.

My dad on his wedding day.

Being born on the cusp must mix things up. That's the only thing I've been able to figure out after all these years. I'm not sure how much influence the position of the sun and moon and stars has on us as human beings, but, I have long believed that was why my mom and dad had such a turbulent relationship. The generations weren't so different back then (1949) as they are today. Where they had seen World Wars and a new prosperity arrive in America during my parents' lifetimes, ten years between a man and woman can mean a lot more in these modern times. Depending on when we were born, we would have listed to different music, used different technologies, watched different movies and TV shows ... these experiences, as shared by each generation, create a bond between the people who lived through it. To have an intimate relationship with someone who didn't listen to, say, the Beatles, or who didn't see the movie, "The Graduate," might mean they won't understand the perspective of those of us who did. All of these experiences have an impact on our thinking and our expectations and are a part of us and who we become. I think that's why a lot of May-December marriages don't work out nowadays.

But, then, that's just my opinion.

Happy Birthday, Mom and Daddy, wherever you are. I'm hoping that you're together in heaven. You're buried next to each other here on Earth! 

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